Sadness Sucks (AKA: The Creative Burden)

So I've been getting back to my written roots over the past few weeks. Working on screenplays, scrawling down to-do lists to maintain my sanity and other types of things. Now, there is one type of writing that I've been trying to avoid up until this point, and that's poetry, or prose. It's not that I'm bad per say at those types of written pieces, quite the contrary, I'm rather good at them. But in order to write that well, I need a little secret something. Otherwise, despite my valiant attempts, the pieces flounder like wounded paper birds.

It's not that I lack this secret something, it's just, well, go ahead and sue me for enjoying my adamant denial of it. This extra something is what makes Adele's music so universal and poignant. It's what made Vincent van Gogh's artwork so haunting and lasting. Sorrow my friends, is something that no one can truly deny. It's a feeling every conscious being can relate to. Who hasn't felt the sting of sorrow? Those times when we're ambushed by the knowledge that what we have isn't what we wanted, and our ideal is perhaps meant to be permanently beyond reach.

So, yes. I can write, and I want to. But what keeps me at bay is the dread of submerging myself in the cool waters of lonesome living. I would much rather be happy with my life and not have the need to make use of an outlet that had slept dormant for three years or so.

But then again, what else is there to do? Have I not played pretend for far too long?

This morning the sun was rising over Lake Michigan. The glowing light on the sky and water was such a beauty that it made my eyes feel not so bleary, my throbbing head fade from notice, and my heart a little less reluctant. And even though this afternoon in the city is so dreary that it would make us doubt in a solar presence, I know it's out there.

And so even though right now I thoroughly doubt the person I believe will always make me happy, I'm almost sure they're out there, obscured by clouds. So maybe there will come a day when joy, not sorrow will write the words. Perhaps some stories can end differently than before.

One Last Thing:

A Gift For You AKA: Miss Erika Davies is AWESOME

Find more artists like Miss Erika Davies at Myspace Music

My new favorite female artist. Quite a lovely lady. Miss. Erika Davies. Do enjoy!
(Apologies for the Myspace propaganda!)
THE MP3 IS AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST!


-L


One Last Thing:

Words of Wisdom AKA: People I Love Say Awesome Things

I've decided to start an updatable list of amazing things that people I love say. Because, jeeze! I need to be able to remember them forever. And I feel like the internet would benefit from them, no, correction, I feel like people would benefit from them.
Here we go!

"Life moves so fast. And it sucks, because life moves slow during the bad parts and fast during the fun parts."
-Jackson

"Leslie, watch out for Tequilla, that stuff is dangerous. It tastes so good, and it goes down so easy, but it'll make your clothes fall off!!"
-My Mother

"Be wary of winking men in positions of power."
-My Mother

"You look a rabid possum on a hot summers day walking down a country lane acting like it's Christmas!"
-Jen

"You look like a frozen apple on a cold winters day climbing up a telephone poll!"
-Jen

"What. The. Pants."
-Becky

"FOD. It's a word. It's.... a stick."
-Becky

"I'm gonna go beat some coons! Not the racial slur, the animal..."
-Chloe
(Check her out if you get the chance. Not only is she an awesome roommate, she's hilarious. Legit.)

"It sounds like you two have as much in common as a race horse and a satellite dish."
-Mike

"Leslie smells like pumpkin pie on a cool spring morning: surprising, yet oddly acceptable."
-MandaB

"I love this irony! It's making me itch!"
-Lauren


People I know make me happy. That means YOU. Yeah. YOU.


One last thing:

Things We Shouldn't Do, But Do Anyways (Episode 1)

Well, I've promised people that I would start blogging more. So this is my real-life attempt at 'blogging more'. Wish me luck.

I've decided to do a segment today on 'Things We Shouldn't Do, But Do Anyways' Because I feel like there are plenty of these, I've given this one the disclaimer of 'Episode 1'.

There are lots of things in life that we shouldn't do, but do regardless. However, I'm not just going to go on a raving rant about sin and it's dominance in this life, because Christ already got our backs on that one, so it's not worth talking about. So, this is NOT going to be a huge list of things to never ever do because they're BAD and the rules say NO and you are a horrid gourd-head if you do them. Promise. Instead, I'm writing about things that we slide into and just, really honestly wish we hadn't.

Today's topic?

Creeping On Your Loved Ones via The Internet

MMM. Yeah.

I failed at not doing this tonight. And I believe I will suffer for it.

One of the lamesauce things about the inter-web is that it has eternal memory. ETERNAL. I'm convinced my Myspace 'About Me' is still floating out in some internet black-hole of 'deleted data'.

There are some things about people, whether it's past relationships, past experiences,

or just general past mistakes that we shouldn't go looking for. Even if it begins as innocently as wanting to see a little farther back into their history on Facebook. If these things are vital to your relationship with this loved one, trust me, they will let you know. They will NOT, however, give you access to pictures, videos, posts, info, or any of the other things that can torment you. Because we fall so quickly to other bits of information and before we know it, we are drowning in information about this other person your loved one has become.

There are no great strangers more haunting than the people we once were.

So the next time you ponder 'getting to know someone better' by looking at their website wall or history, you should re-ponder. Forgetting is so terribly hard, when we humans love so terribly much and fall so terribly hard into reality.

Goodness. That's a bit depressing. Apologies reader.

The next one of these will be about giving up on socks missing their mates or something.

I hope your holidays were grand, and that your present is one that makes you wish not for the holidays.

-L

One Last Thing:

Trees Hate You- Also Known As, I might be a lame blogger

Is it sad that I haven't posted in a few days short of forever? Perhaps I don't have the stamina to blog. Or maybe I'm busy watching all of Julian Smith's videos? He's a filmmaker from TN, and he makes me laugh with his weekly videos.




Enjoy!

-L

One Last Thing:

“I like to see people reunited, I like to see people run to each other, I like the kissing and the crying, I like the impatience, the stories that the mouth can’t tell fast enough, the ears that aren’t big enough, the eyes that can’t take in all of the change, I like the hugging, the bringing together, the end of missing someone.”

—	Jonathan Safran Foer (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close)

Happy Thanksgiving!

"This Is Me Sometimes" Also known as: An Awesome Video

Hey everyone. I just felt the need to enlighten you with an awesome video that has wandered into my life. It makes me smile.

Enjoy!

MARCEL THE SHELL WITH SHOES ON from Dean Fleischer-Camp on Vimeo.

One last thing:

"To grasp what it means to exist, one needs to grasp the fact that he might not exist, that he treads every moment on the sharp edge of possible annihilation and can never escape the fact that death will arrive at some unknown moment in the future."
– Rollo May

-L

"3 New Things" Also Known As: WWLGD?

My current roommates are fans of the Lady Gaga. As a direct result there is a large poster of her mounted on our brick wall, quite possibly where a mantel would be if we had a fireplace. So, instead of a friendly family portrait or maybe a clock, there is the LG.

Now, for those of you who don't know me, I spend a very large amount of time in the living room. And she is always out there, watching me muddle my way through Deaf Culture questions, seeing me attempting to color coordinate script beats, probably laughing as I trip trying to get to the power cord before my macbook shuts down. She's always there, in her shiny mirror mosaic mask, her pirate head-covering and her stiletto shoes that (in all honesty) would probably kill me if I even contemplated wearing them.

It wasn't so bad when we had the Audrey Hepburn pop art up on the wall too, nestled above the TV, because, well, first of all, I can see her whole face:

And anyways, Holly Golightly never struck me as someone I would feel alienated by if I met her on the street. She's got too much of her own stuff to deal with to put that much thought into ignoring someone, ya' know? Ask yourself what Holly Golightly would do in a tough situation, and the answer is almost always, go eat food and look at diamonds. And, though I'm more of a dinner/books gal myself, I do support the whole comfort food/comfort item route. It agrees with me. But one night, Audrey fell off the wall, split her frame in half, and has taken refuge in the other bedroom. So I don't get to see her much at all anymore.

But LG is still on the wall. Still lurk'n by the pool in her black spandex. And I have no clue what kind of things she would do in a tough spot. If I asked her for advice, I have no idea what her response would be. But I doubt it would involve comfort food or a store like Tiffany's.

Now, me myself, I'm not a fan of the LG.

I'm not even very learned in the subject of this pop phenomenon.

This is how my timeline of Lady Gaga knowledge goes:

(In events and friend quotes...)

April 2008- "Just Dance" is released... Meh, ok, I'll listen to you when I drive.

August 2009- Lady Gaga is a man? Maybe? Not sure.

December 2009- "Only hipsters listen to Lady Gaga"

September 2010- "LADY GAGA IS IN A MEAT SUIT!!!! AND WE LOVE HER! =D!"

Looking back, I'm not really sure how we got from "Just Dance" to a famous suit of meat, but that just illustrates the changing trends of society.

Now, please don't get me wrong, I'm not uber dissing on LG. I don't know her or her work well enough to make judgements, embrace, or diss her. But now that she's on the wall mantel spot... seeing me and my doofy life, I felt like, I need to know a little bit about her.

I used this post to learn 3 new things about LG.

To begin my search, I did what every young person does when they are on a quest for information and out of Cha-Cha questions, I googled. I googled hard and fast. Actually, I didn't google very hard, I just typed "La" before the search guesser had "Lady Gaga" as the first suggestion. Learning things already!

3 New Things I Know About Lady Gaga:

1. Popular, with a capital 'Pop'

2.

3.

I see her official website advertised on Google and BA-BLAM, I click my way in, hopeful for knowledge.

This is what I get:

3 New Things I Know About Lady Gaga:

1. Popular, with a capital 'Pop'

2. Does not do requests

3.

The next website on the list was that of her Twitter Account. Oh man, nothing says internal workings like a Twitter page!

First thing I notice, 506 tweets. Whoa.

Second thing I notice, many references to 'little monsters'. WHOA.

Maybe it's just me, but that movie always just struck a weird chord.

3 New Things I Know About Lady Gaga:

1. Popular, with a capital 'Pop'

2. Does not do requests

3. Devoted fan of Fred Savage and/or Howie Mandel

Despite the randomness of my list, I considered this venture a success.

Because now I've got a bit of my own dirt on Lady Gaga, her stare doesn't creep me out. Well, it still creeps me out a little, but I feel less like I'm being spied on by a stranger. It's more like the eccentric neighbor acquaintance across the street happens to be looking at me through my living room window all the time, but I know she has an obsession with car mufflers so we're square. That's sort of an improvement... right?

I can ask, "What would Lady Gaga do?" and be about 3 steps closer to the right answer.

(Or, at least, know that the answer will be popular, not what you requested, and have something to do with Fred Savage...and/or Howie Mandel.)

One last thing:

-L